Breaking News: Man wins race to traffic lights

10 May, Singapore - Scenes of victory have erupted at the traffic junction of Ang Mo Kio Ave 5 and Ang Mo Kio Central (near Ang Mo Kio MRT) as Mr. Beng Chia has successfully defeated yet another 70 year old grandmother in her Toyota Yaris to the traffic lights, making this only the third time he was won anything in his life besides beating the last 70 year old grandmother in her Proton Myvi to the traffic lights, and successfully cheating the finance company that the $3000 in commission he got the whole year was his monthly commission so he could get a car loan

Mr. Beng Chia's victory in his Mitsibushi Lancer, which is nearing the end of its COE soon, is a memorable moment in history for motorsport for the every day man, and he vows to keep up the good work, annoying every one driving at the speed limit on the left lane, and complaining that people road-hog when there are like 30 fucking cars in front of you in a traffic jam and you won't give way to the guy behind you anyway.

Mr. Daniel G'day Mate, of Australia, had volumes of praise for his Singaporean counterpart. "Y'know mate, here in Australia, even though every mothers' son can afford a car, it takes a special kinda guy to, y'know, buy a souped up Holden or 4WD using my welfare benefits, and, y'know, beat those evil old ladies in their Toyotas driving at 60kph, y'know? I feel my Singaporean brothas, even though if he waz here drivin' a better car than me I'd be yellin' at him for takin' my jobs even though all I do is stay home all day and sniff ice."

- Routers