The Nasty Parks Board (NParks) made clarifications on Tuesday regarding public queries about oddly design bench along Punggol Waterway, after issuing a statement to Condemn Nation News on Monday that said, "In response to recent queries about the functionality of the said bench, NParks assures the public that the bench was multi-million award winning design by Japanese renowned architect Fuckyo Shingapora. The decision to use Fuckyo's design was reached after an intensive consultation last year with about 2 members of the public."
The bench under recent scrutiny was given a lively name, "Sore wa anata no bōru o hogo shimasu" (translated: It will protect your balls) with key functionalities in mind such as preventing the homeless from sleeping on it, discouraging lovers from making out, park users hogging to bench too long lest it builds up a queue and catering for the elderly who have been demanding for rear massage features in neighbourhood parks.
"Misinformed members of the public have to judge for themselves. We have fulfilled every deliverable without wasting a single cent of public funding. NParks is extremely proud of "Sore wa anata no bōru o hogo shimasu" and is currently assessing the possibility of replacing benches in every park in Singapore, taking advantage of a huge bulk discount offered by our supplier."
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